Within a family there is the fundamental reflection of the society in which it exists. The basic human patterns of behaviour that are not about survival but of social interactions are nurtured. It is a given that within this group it is safe to experiment with reactions to differing circumstances. It is a place where a child can become self-assured, not self – righteous, secure in the knowledge that they have enough abilities to cope in situations that may arise outside the family unit in public interactions. This is where opinions and prejudices are formed and it can be a dangerous exercise to pursue the ideals of parents where they have had negative results in the society they live in.
Think about your home as a place where your child will know love, nurturing and safety. Let it be a place where they can find inner strength and inspiration because it is where they are acknowledged for who they are as human beings. Let them know that the front door is always open as it is their door as much as your door. Make your home a place for your family to gather and bond, to support each other and be honest with each other. Let your home be a haven.
The truth of family is this. Children are precious, perfect human beings. Some of them are born with a wisdom that can teach us about ourselves, if we would listen and respect their pure interpretation of the world around them. Parents/Caregivers are given the honour of raising a child. Their sole duty is to equip this child with the ability to fulfil their dreams. To accomplish this, parents/caregivers will need to provide situations for their child to discover who they are and what they love to do. Each child will have their own selection of talents and will have a drive within them to follow their own path. Parents need to be there to guide them gently and help them to appreciate all that they have surrounded themselves with. Parents sometimes like to interfere in a child’s life so that they can meet their own needs for self fulfilment. Children experience burnout when this approach is followed. Parents learn to be unselfish and to place another’s needs before their own when they begin this journey.
Parents/Caregivers need to work as a team with equal input for the child. This enables the child to feel respect towards both parents. Adults who show unconditional love for their child teach their child that it is safe to try, and that mistakes are gifts that help humans learn. Parenting is not about an image or competition. Whatever your child does, it will be as a vision of beauty unfolding, revealing your own truth to you. You do not own your child, just as you do not own your partner or spouse, or any other human being. You are chosen to be an example for this child and that is a gift in itself. Let the child go through stages. Let the child stumble so that the concept of getting back up and forging ahead is learnt. Let the child feel proud or sad or angry or happy. Let them experience disappointment and know how to overcome. Do not rob your child of these experiences.
Allow your child to speak. They often have profound wisdom in their innocence of life. They have a fresh view of the world, and they appreciate all that they see around them. They have gracious curiosity and limitless energy to discover their world. Try to refresh your life by taking a look through their eyes. Remember that they know more than you did at their age because the world of technology has advanced so quickly. Do not hold them back from embracing all that life has to offer them. Let them live each day as its own unique adventure.
Learning is everywhere, happening all the time. Live life as though you are your child and find the joy and contentment that they know just by appreciating and loving all that they have around them. They expect good and display trust in your ability to parent them.
When you love them unconditionally, you will see that they pass this attribute on to others that they come across. Children do not see colour, race, or gender. They do not know about religion or politics or nationalities. All that they know is that there are other human beings around them and they find something wonderful in each person they meet which helps them to forgive easily and let bygones be bygones. They start each day as if it is the first day of their life, and they know that it will be wonderful.
Within a family there are adult role models for a child to imitate. Each adult has an important part to play in any child’s life. Adults’ reactions towards the child will result in the attitudes a child develops towards other adults and later other children. Parents/Caregivers will need to show wisdom and reserve, that the family’s interests is a priority, and that there integrity. Children emulate adults and the examples that they use are those of their childhood experiences. A mother figure teaches a child about nurturing instincts in many forms for the family. Children learn about their value in society from being valued in their family environment. Parents/Caregivers are like roots to anchor a child as well as like the branches of a tree to shield, nurture and challenge. Children thrive in a true, balanced partnership between themselves and their parents or caregivers. Their security and joy will be the reward.
Self discipline is as leadership is. A worthy leader will be one that people follow in every aspect. This is true for a worthy parent/caregiver. Self-discipline is learnt from parents/caregivers. Every reaction and example that a parent/caregiver presents is how a child learns self-discipline. There is no need for any form of violence or manipulation because adults should understand the dynamic of setting a living model example. Respect is earned by the manner in which a child is treated in a variety of situations. Trust and security are foundations for this. A child may be experimenting or challenging its own parameters and a parent can observe how in nature the parent will gently guide the young in a more worthwhile direction. Understand that your child is trying to find out about his or her world. They will follow your example and your direction if you have shown them that you know the way by making them feel secure in your love for them. They will have you showering them with appropriate words of praise because you have been such an inspiring role model. You as a parent can teach your child all that he/she needs to know by being a living role model. Children want to be cooperative and enjoy happy experiences.
By being a good parent/caregiver, you empower your child with self-esteem and unconditional love, you reward their curiosity with opportunities to explore, and you show them how to respect yourself and everyone else by your own behaviour towards them and everyone else in your world.